Best of MySpace blogs part 8: Screw You, Nigeria!

Originally posted October 14, 2009

So yeah, I have a profile on a few online dating sites. I don't really bother with them anymore because I find online dating to be much more work than just going out and meeting people--and far less rewarding. But I still keep the profiles up just in case.

I got a message yesterday at a site called "Geek 2 Geek," and it's what it sounds like, a place to meet geeky people. So anyway, I get a message on this geek-dating site, and the chick in the photo is liike, suspiciously attractive. Not that the site is all uggo chicks or anything, and not that I'm quasimodo and wouldn't have an attractive woman like me...but she was just too pretty to be trolling for geek-booty on the internets. Her profile was vague and non-specific. She stated things like "I like watching movies" or "I like going to concerts." She might as well have said, "I like eating food." Also suspicious was the complete lack of anything remotely geeky in her interests--on a site called "Geek 2 Geek" that sticks out like a sore thumb.

And her message to me was "I like your profile, contact me at [randomemailaddress]@yahoo.com I like to get to know you more better."

"Know you more better?" Seriously, who the fuck talks like that?

So at this point my Spidey-senses were tingling and I sent "her" an email wanting specific questions answered:

"What did you like about my profile? You say you like concerts, what's your favorite type of music? What's your favorite band?"

Her response were more suspiciously hot pictures and a request to get on Yahoo Instant Messenger to chat--not a single one of my questions were answered. Huge red flag. Did some googling and found out that this is a common tactic for Nigerian scammers--you know the old tune: "oh my dead uncle was presidents of the Nigeria and I need you to cash a traveler's check and wire money back to me, I give you half!" --except now they swipe photographs of models off of a modeling agency's website and stalk people on dating sites before giving the scam spiel.

I checked the sourcecode for the email and ran the IP addresses through the WhoIs database, and surprise, surprise, guess where the email originated from?

FUCKING NIGERIA

I immediately reported the profile to the dating site and they deleted the profile.

Bottom line: don't fuck with geeks, we know what an IP address is and how to track it, you Nigerian dickslaps!

/rant