Best of MySpace blogs part 3: Dear Internet...

Originally posted January 14, 2008

Dear Internet,

Please stop using the following phrases:

1. "You just got served!" Hey, 1984 called and they want their stupid breakdancing contest lingo back. And their breakdancing contests. And their fucking breakdancing.

2. "You had me at hello." While we're on the subject of past years calling for their shit back, can we stop using this line from Jerry Maguire already? It's been 12 damn years and it's not even fun to use it in an ironic manner anymore. It's just old.

3. "[X] jumped the shark" Sad to say, but claiming that things have jumped the shark has in itself, jumped the shark. On a side note, claiming someone has "jumped the couch" is still cool, because it makes fun of Tom Cruise, and that never gets old.

4. "[X] is the new [Y]." Is it that hard to make a comparison between two things without using this phrase? Could you at least try?

5. "You are the weakest link! Goodbye!" Is this show even on anymore?

6. "I'm bringing sexy back." Unless you're Justin Timberlake, shut the fuck up. In fact, even if you are Justin Timberlake, shut the fuck up. That doesn't even make any goddamn sense. It's doesn't make you cool, not even in an ironic way. "Sexy" didn't fucking go anywhere, jackass.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure I haven't touched upon all of the overused phrases out there on the 'net. More to come...